“Despite everything my mom and doctor and dad have said to me about blame, I can’t stop thinking what I know. And I know that my aunt Helen would still be alive today if she just bought me one present like everybody else. She would be alive if I were born on a day that didn’t snow. I would do anything to make this go away. I miss her terribly…”- The Perks of Being a Wallflower.
This quote takes me back to the tenth grade, a time in my life where I was truly unhappy. My mindset was very negative back then…I used to blame myself for a lot things that I am presently convinced that it is not my fault. For example, if family members fought with one another I always managed to blame myself. No one physically said it was my fault or implied resentment but I’d still sit there and let the those horrible thoughts take over. That and many other things to deal with, tenth grade me could not handle it very well. No wonder I was depressed.
I’ve come out of that “pit”. It was difficult and I am forever grateful to the supportive people that helped me recover enough to be able to stand on my own two feet.Metaphorically speaking. However, I do slip back into that messed up mindset of mine from time to time. Depression comes in waves and just like the song Best Friend by Foster the People goes, “It comes in waves, but it’s hardest from the start”. I get depressed from time to time but the first time was the horrible. I didn’t know what to do, “why” I was feeling that way or who to talk to…
Let me not completely ruin your mood. If you are still feeling sad let me metaphorically hug you*hug*.
I’m enjoying the novel so far. I like that the content is divided into letters. It makes me feel like I’ve discovered a stack of letters up in the attic. A friend of my mine asked if I related to any of the characters and I feel that my past self would have related to Charlie at an extraordinary level. I wish I had read this book back in the tenth grade.
I’ll continue reading later.